1.29.2007

To my daughter Ellie Xiao,

We have made one more hurdle in our journey to you. I sit here staring at your picture, wondering what you may be thinking or doing. Do you know about us yet? Are you wondering what is taking so long for us to come for you? I Hope you receive our photo album soon. I want you to know we are ready to meet you.

I'm completely mesmerized by your precious dimples, and cannot wait to hold you, laugh with you, and for you to experience all of the love we all have to offer you. I just hope you are receptive. (in time, I know) I cannot wait to see the world through your eyes, and watch you experience things we take for grated everyday.

Your brother and sister talk about you everyday, just like you are already here. They have your place at the table picked out. They are still fighting over who gets to sit next to you at the table, and in the car. They have even began the fighting over who is going to sit by you on the plane ride home. Can you tell, they already love you. Little do they know, mom trumps kids.

I want you to know what a brave girl you are. To leave everything you have ever known. I know it will be confusing at first. You will be scared. I admire your braveness, courage and willingness to be adopted internationally. I just want you to know, I'm scared too. Scared you will not like us, scared you will miss China too much, and scared I won't be making the right decisions to help you grow into the strong young girl I know you will be. We will be scared together, but I won't let you know how scared I am. Just to let you know, I'm terrified underneath. Just like I think you will be. We will both put on our brave faces, but I want you to know, I'm here for you, ready to love you forever.
I promise to make your transition as painless as I can. I cannot guarantee it won't be sad, confusing, or even scary at times. But, we are all here for you. You will be entering a family ready to give you lots love.

The concept of a family must be confusing to you. You may have seen it, know about it,but to never know the dynamics, and love of a family can be confusing. To wonder if there is a family out there ready to love you, or if you will grow up without a mom and dad. I know your caregivers and friends are your family, the only family you have ever known. We will never forget them. We are grateful to them for caring for you until you can be with us. I look forward to the day you may be able to share stories with me about them.

We are trying to get to you as fast as we can. If it was up to your Baba and I, we would have been there months ago.

Please know I think of you every second of everyday. I have done everything in my power to get to you as fast as I can. I have not wasted one second in my journey to you. We want you to be our daughter, and I want to be your mother......FOREVER!!

Love,

Mom