The need for closure

I have said good bye to my message board friends, I've deleted all of the waiting child lists from my computer in order to have some closure to our adoption. I feel like our journey to Lila was completed and I need to close the door to that chapter and do some soul searching to if we want to embark on another.

As most of you know I have the strong pull to adopt again. I find myself wanting to mother more children, have one more chance to enrich another childs life, but for this family right now, at this given moment we need to have a closure to our first journey. I feel by following message boards, tracking wait times, and looking at waiting child lists only keeps that chapter open. I need to move on at this point and see if my heart really wants more children or am I fascinated by the entire process. I It is rather addictive.

I will still look in on those of you that I have followed and I wait with bated breath for the day you share the faces of your little ones with the cyber world.

I will still continue with the blog for those of you who read it with your morning coffee. Plus I need a outlet to all of the wild thoughts in my head. No voices yet, just thoughts.

We have many adventures ahead of us, as we introduce it all to Lila for the first time. I want to take her on a tropical vacation, Disneyland, have her meet more of her relatives that she has yet to see. There is still so much more for her to experience. We fell that if we started another adoption, our lives would be on hold again for a year. That is not fair to Braydon or Lila.