6.17.2006


Father's Day is never really the same. Even though my own father is no longer here for me to send a card to. I celebrate this day for many more reasons; The father that my husband is to my children and to the men in my life I truly love as a father, My Grandfather....As grumpy as he was in my childhood, he truly laid the foundation of the morals I choose to live by. My uncle (and Aunt), who allowed me to move to WA. As a teenager so I could get out of Coos Bay OR, and actually have a chance in this world until I graduated high school. Dean and Dave D. For being caring, loving and accepting of my children, so much they call them Gpa & Poppy. So from the bottom of my heart HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.

As for my own dad......I have really tried to think of ways to celebrate this day in a positive way. And to not think of what I don't have, but be grateful for what I do have and be grateful for the people that are still here in my life. One thing still hurts...Shopping for Father's Day cards. It's hard when you see Father's day cards that read To Dad from your daughter. I used to buy those cards. I pass them over now, trying to ignore them in hopes that I won't lose it in front of my kids and all the shoppers at target. Be thankful to be one of those people that gets to buy that card or to receive that card.

I miss my dad everyday. His infectious laugh, his quirky sayings, and just the fact that he was some where in this world waiting to call me in the middle of the night to wish me a Happy Birthday. He never missed it once. It may have been 11:55pm, but it was always on my birthday. I miss him mostly in the spring and early summer, his favorite time of the year. He would say that he couldn't wait for spring to come and warm up is old body from the rainy cold winters of the Oregon coast as a logger.

He would LOVE Lila. He would tell me all the time, you need a little girl. There is nothing like having a daughter to love. He was right. And how did he know that I needed her just as much as she needed me? The ironic thing is he died on August 1, 2003, Lila's birthday is August 5, 2003....The day that he was cremated. The world works in mysterious ways.

I know he is in a better place for him. But, for me..... My place is a empty hole that misses him on days like this.
I love you dad.