2.04.2006

Just random blabbing


What must be going on in Lila's head could be enough to send the rest of us to the looney bin. Sometimes I look at her cute little face only to see wonder?, confusion?, joy?, all of the above?. I wish I knew what she was thinking so I could help her grieve and heal. It will only be time, love and support that will help her(us) with that.

Somedays we make huge strides where she seems to feel comfortable with all of us. Then the next day, or even the next moment she looks scared and confused. She starts shutting people out, mostly Brandon and sometimes Braydon. As for me, sometimes she looks at me and holds on tight, then other times I can tell I'm just the caregiver. What a confusing time for all of us. We have been in love with this little girl for so long, and have accepted her as one of us long before we could hold her. All we want to do is hug, hold, love, play, and be with her. She on the other hand, saw pictures of us in a photo album and one day here we are to take her from EVERYTHING that she ever knew. I have no doubts that she was loved deeply, cared for, and slightly spoiled. But what must she be thinking? I guess we will never know. All I do know is, She is loved deeply here, we will care for her, and she will be more then slightly spoiled.